My pregnancy was not a straightforward one. With Covid restrictions to contend with, it was never really going to be, but even still I was surprised by how often I found myself at Warrington Hospital for extra scans or appointments.
With pelvic girdle pain making walking, sleeping – in fact, just moving – difficult, I realised that pregnancy with a three-year-old non-sleeper at home, in the middle of a pandemic, was not going to be easy.
I also realised towards the end of my third trimester that I held a lot of post-natal anxiety as a result of my first labour. Following a debrief with a consultant at the hospital, I was able to learn about what had gone wrong that first time and, armed with this information, I became more determined to have my *perfect* birth.
Well, my dream of having a perfect birth didn’t last long.
After lots of contractions and false labours, I asked to be re-examined. Being told I was only 6cm still, was devastating. I believe the next part is called ‘transition’ where you start to heavily doubt your own ability to birth. I’m not ashamed to admit that I begged to just “get this baby out of me, I don’t care how.”
24 minutes later, whilst the midwife was trying to get the monitors back on, I informed the many people in the room that I needed to “GET OFF THIS BED!”
And I stood up
And I birthed this little boy that we now know is Leo Alexander Thomas Ames.
And we had cuddles
And they weighed him
And they stitched me up
And we talked about how his heart rate would be monitored overnight
And we put his blue hat on him and took photos that we intended would “announce” his birth
And he cuddled his dad
And I showered
And then he wouldn’t settle
And he wouldn’t feed
And he made these loud noises when he was breathing
And we thought the noises were quite cute but we wondered how we would ever sleep when he was so noisy!
And the midwife said she would just check him over to make sure everything was ok
And by 2am
Our little baby Leo
Was intubated and on a ventilator
In the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit
Fighting for his life
And I just begged for somebody
Anybody
To tell me that my little boy was going to be ok
And they just said,
“He needs a lot of support”
And that’s what they gave him.
To put it mildly, our little boy was very poorly indeed.
He had wires and lines and tubes all over his tiny body.
He couldn’t breathe on his own.
He was given fluids through a line.
Every day he was poked and prodded and pricked.
His little feet looked like they’d been cut to ribbons.
He had head scans, chest x rays, so many blood tests, so many lines, so much medication just to get his body stable – all in the first few days alone.
Then, we were desperately waiting for his blood to start clotting properly so that a lumbar puncture could thankfully rule out meningitis. After a few days, we learnt that Leo had an infection called Group B Strep (GBS) which had caused sepsis. He was on the right treatment already, thanks to the fast-acting NNU staff.
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